Things are finally
starting to change
for me

The sense of not enough-ness
has been turned way down
in intensity

An acceptance of what is –
an acceptance of me –
is now increasing

And the weight of time 
is no longer crushing me
as I’ve become more aware
of my needs

I used to push so hard
to do all of the things
but now I find
some kind of
almost-contentedness
as I allow myself to give in
to resting

And I look forward
most days
to this reprieve
instead of judging myself
for all of the things
that I’m not doing

Who’s to say that the usual way
is the best way for me?

I am tired from a lifetime
of comparing
and of falling short
of what I’ve felt
has been expected of me

So what if I cannot do
all of the things
that this fucked up culture
demands of me?

I’ve suffered enough

I’ve been my own
judge and jury

I’ve shown no mercy

I’ve laid bare
all of my supposed wrong-doings
hoping that honesty and humility
would invite someone in
to rescue me

But more often than not
people instead
found me frightening

And left me wondering
how to connect in a world
where honesty
is seen as a liability

And sometimes I think
that without the experience
of a Kundalini awakening
I would have lost all hope for humanity

Including me

Especially me

But I’m still here

I’m not touching the Godhead
just yet
but I’m letting go of the things
that have kept me from reaching 

Poetry Cards

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